Is this our “real” life?

Photo by Yan on

Do you remember the first time you made a big move as a kid, or perhaps, the first time your best friend moved away? Maybe there were tears, feelings of despair, anger at your parents for ripping you from the place you call home. Or maybe you were excited, looking forward to a fresh start, and ready to get out of dodge.

I remember my first “big” move. It was the summer before starting second grade, my family moved a short two hours from Tucson to Phoenix. Phoenix was the moon for all I knew, and I remember feeling so sad to leave my very best friend who lived a few houses down from us, but also excited for a new adventure. We made promises to visit each other, and to stay in touch, but our good intentions were swept away as our next chapters unfolded.

Sitting here in my middle years, I can see how various stages of my life echo a similar theme, “a bit sad, but also excited for what’s next.” Maybe I lean optimistic, but there is something so profound about endings, and something so beautiful about beginnings. These transitional stages of life give us an opportunity to reflect, reassess, and release any pain or trauma that rooted in the prior stage. I’m not saying I’m a pro at any of those things, but I try to allow my heart and head to realign any time I find myself in a new stage.

That being said, you may have noticed Molly and I haven’t written much in awhile. Okay, a looooong while. The truth is that Molly and I both went through some major life changes in the past couple of years, including three moves, one birth, one miscarriage, job loss, and a life altering health diagnosis that inevitably changed the course of my life. Oh, and not to mention the world shutting down, COVID wreaking its’ havoc, and racial, social, and political unrest all around us. You know, the game of life, right?

So, like many of you, we have been in one long transitional phase that often feels never-ending. You may be wondering, when will I wake up and be living my “real life?” When nothing and everything feels so real these days, how do we even begin to make sense of it all? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel or is the tunnel just an illusion and we’re really being led down the rabbit hole?

Perhaps, one of the more interesting effects of 2020’s mayhem, is that in some ways, it has acted as an equalizer. “When will this end? Everything will be back to “normal” by next year, right? Are you sending your kids back to school in person or online? Can you explain hybrid learning? Are we allowed to go to the playground? Do you think the kids are alright? Do you think the adults are alright? What’s for dinner?” Okay, maybe the last one is a joke (but seriously, what are you making for dinner?). SO many questions, SO many answers, and SO many opinions. And yet, no guru, no expert, and certainly no commander in chief could give us one “right” answer, nor could he or she wave a magic wand and make it disappear.

In a year that was so LOUD, everyone was and still is looking to each other for solutions. And I hope more than trusting anybody else, you’ve found it within yourself to make the tough choices that are uniquely and beautifully your own, because in the end, we need to find peace within ourselves – whatever that may look like.

So the next time you’re feeling down, confused, and left wondering, “why,” turn down the volume, turn inward, and ask, what can I do? Just sit in that for awhile. Chill. Ruminate. Meditate. Consider it a gift to yourself. No one can do it for you, and yet, you deserve it more than anyone. So many things are out of our control these days, but do not forget the power of your presence, your mindset, and your ability to positively change your surroundings…one breath, one step, one day at a time…you may be delighted by the realness of your life, after all.

You Got This,